69 Ways to Piss People Off

During a heated game of Bingo...yell out "Bingo"...but only if you have almost all the numbers covered. When they tell you that you're wrong, start screaming about the conspiracy between the caller and aliens.
While chatting on the internet, type...really...really...slow. In fact, leave a 5 minute margin between some of your messages.
Walk by a table in a restaurant, bend over, then start screaming, "OH MY GOD! My contact fell in your soup!!!"
End every sentence with "and stuff..."
At a buffet, pick some sort of food item up, like chicken, or lettuce...then conviently change your mind...
On the Internet, make your tag/handle/nick an assortment of capital i's, lower case L's, 1's and these vertical line things... | <--- that... so you have something along Il|IIl|1|IIl (trust me, on many online services it looks all the same...bet you can't tell the 1 from the lowercase L...)
Laugh REALLY LOUDLY for no reason, then explain its an inside joke...
ON THE INTERNET, TALK IN CAPS AND EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE YOUR CAPS LOCK IS JAMMED SHUT.
Dont use puncuation for anything
On the Internet type as fast as humanely possible...make it so people have to scroll up to see the first thing you said...
Leave every bathroom with the toilet seat up, and the toilet paper conviently somewhere else, (like the bath tub)
Play the penis game at all oppurtunities (thats a game where you take turns trying to say penis at increasing volumes...first a whisper, then in a hushed voiced, then in your speaking voice, and so on...)
Buy some ten cent candy and pay for it in a $50...if they say no, rant and rave that you'll never bring your business back to that store again...
Make a web page and put REALLY BIG HUGE pictures on it...better yet, put them on an extra slow server, like GeoCities, and tell everyone its worth going...
Sing the first few words of a refrain of a song...why? Because most people will get that part stuck in their head...
When people ask for you .gif or .jpg online...send them a picture of someone who symbolizes you...I would send a potato or a pic of Sailor Saturn.
Refuse to take showers, claiming its against your religion...
Give people the wrong time when they ask...
Stare at people when they walk by...
Take those cardboard tubes you get in paper towels & toilet paper and use it to look at things...
Say "Are you sure?" to everything...
When someone asks you a question, reply with "Meemeep meep meep..."
Yell "FIRE!" randomly in a public place...
Go to a movie you've already seen and scream out whats going to happen...then run like hell...
Take all your videos out of the boxes, and replace them with tapes of commercials from the tv...
Give people the wrong directions...
TyPe iN "StIcKy CaPs" oN tHe iNtErNeT aNd ExPlAiN ThAt iT'S yOuR CoMpUtEr HaViNg aN OrGaSm (oR uSe SeIzUrE iF tHaT wOrD ScArEs YoU...)
Turn someone on...then switch the subject to smurfs...
On your web page, make your links and text all one color...and put it on underline...
Type your web page using the <H1> tag thru the whole thing...
Answer the fone by screaming, "WHAT!?"
Every time the Mission Impossible theme comes on, take it upon yourself to roll around the ground and what not...
If you're ever sick and your doctor prescribes drugs, scream "DRUGS ARE BAD!"
Snicker at everything someone says...
Stare at people until you get their attention, then quickly look away. Repeat.
Exaggerate Canadian talk...say "eh" alot...(prnounced "aye")
Learn a really long and note-worthy quote from a movie, like that biblical phrase in Puple Fiction. Then misquote it, and demand your right, then buy the movie, when people go "HAHA, Told you you where wrong!" look at them funny and tell them thats what you've been saying the whole time.
While the teacher is talking sharpen your pencil at the pencil sharpener, if she stops, also stop. When she continues, continue sharpening.
Sit on the floor at all oppurtunities, do not sit in chairs. Sit on the floor at the middle of malls, restaurants, church, and wherever else.
Cuss as much as you can in one sentence.
Don't cuss at all, but still use the "okay" phrases as much as you can: "fudging, darn, gosh, heck, etc..." and be sure to use the words in conjunction i.e. "gosh darn," & "fudging heck"
Always ask people if the clothes you wear "make you look fat..." This is really kool if your really fat or really skinny.
Scare your roomate by eating ketchup...and nothing else.
When talking on the fone, and you know someone is getting off the fone with you to talk to someone else...don't hang up. When the other person picks up again to dial out say "hello." keep doing this until they start bitching at you about not letting them go, respond with: "But I love you..."
Learn to play songs on the fone using the touch-tone number things. Just for you information, 3,2,1,3,3,3,2,2,2,3,6,6 is Mary Had a Little Lamb
Take it upon yourself to shout, "Heeyyy Macarena!" during quiet times and the dance too.
Arrange your frigerator in color order, then yell at anyone who trys to disturb your artistic masterpiece..."
Every night open your doors and lock them, do this at least 2 times, but change the number every time...gotta keep em guessing!
Announce the time every 15 minutes, for added annoyance add: "and alls well!" after you announce the time...
Talk in third person.
Wear sunglasses indoors.
When at a restaurant, make voices for people's food. Such as 'don't eat me!' Do not let the victim see you. For added fun, wait till he's cutting into his meat and start screaming, 'ouch! stop! that hurts!'
Refer to yourself as 'Master Jorge'
Ask for the kiddie menu, no matter how old you are...and order!
Chew all your food slowly and exactly the same time each time. Why not count out loud?
Pick something weird and worship it for a week. Tell your parents, tell your friends, recruit people! First week try and lure people into the Cult of Zen Potato-ism.
Pretend to be a monkey and eat lice out of people's hair.
Cough loudly every 5 minutes (be precise!)
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